That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
