but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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