so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
