her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
