yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
