I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
