You work out of a Hotel?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
it hurts more in the daytime
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
