Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I am one with the molecules
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
