It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
