Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
