if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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