kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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