I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
