you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
third nipple confirmed
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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