Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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