remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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