He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
