I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize