forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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