What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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