You're completely useless in the revolution.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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