I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
try to milk me bitch
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
