I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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