How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
