Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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