I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
