o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
