When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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