honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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