Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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