I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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