dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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