well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize