I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He kissed a someone with a penis
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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