You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
