Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
