She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
