WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
