Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
