going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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