Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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