Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
