You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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