Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
