no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
