do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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