first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize