when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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