Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
