we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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