So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
