I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
