wake up i wanna do it froggy style
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
