I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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