Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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