so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
