I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
