I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
