she was so not down for the gang bang
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
