You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she looked like the before picture.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
