Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
