Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
smell my finger.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I smell like Dick and happiness
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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