The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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