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dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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